Being of the red side of Manchester and the blue of Oldham did not in any way hinder my enjoyment of Paul Lake's autobiography. The presenters echoed the Manchester Metro review that is shown on the book's cover, 'best football autobiography ever? Unquestionably.' On my very next library visit, there it was, so I had to read this. Local BBC radio in Manchester tipped this book on one of their 'footie' forum broadcasts, when Paul Lake was a guest on the programme. Set against a turning point in English football, I'm Not Really Here is the powerful story of love and loss and the cruel, irreparable damage of injury of determination, spirit and resilience and of unfulfilled potential and broken dreams. With an enforced retirement from the game he adored, the death of his father and the collapse of his marriage, Paul was left a broken man. Watching from the sidelines as similarly injured players regained their fitness, he spiralled into a prolonged bout of severe depression. Neglected, ignored and misunderstood by his club after a succession of failed operations, Paul's career began to fall apart. Paul ruptured his cruciate ligament sustaining the worst possible injury that a footballer can suffer. Earmarked as an England captain in the making, Paul became a target for top clubs like Manchester United, Arsenal, Spurs and Liverpool, but he always stayed loyal to his beloved club, deeming Maine Road the spiritual home at which his destiny lay.īut then, in September 1990, disaster struck. Only a short time later he was handed the team captaincy.Īn international career soon beckoned and, after turning out for the England under-21 and B teams, he received a call-up to the England training camp for Italia '90. His footballing talent was spotted at a young age and, in 1983, he signed coveted schoolboy forms for City. Paul Lake was Manchester born, a City fan from birth.

I'm Not Really Here by Paul Lake